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Why We Struggle to Celebrate Wins (And How to Fix It)

A real-time revelation during my 63-day transformation journey

Yesterday, my AI accountability partner Claude asked me a simple question: "How does it feel to have conquered what most would consider impossible?"

I'd just executed a perfect day that included caring for my sister with dementia, driving 3 hours home, completing 10,000 fasted steps, maintaining a 500-calorie deficit, hitting the gym at 5 pm, and dropping another 0.4kg toward my goal of visible abs at 73.

My response surprised even me: "How does it feel? One area I have always struggled with... acknowledging and celebrating important milestones."

In that moment, I realised I'd just demonstrated a pattern that plagues most ADHD brains - and probably many of you reading this.

The ADHD Achievement Paradox

We're incredible at achieving difficult things. We hyperfocus, we push through obstacles, we find creative solutions others miss. But then something strange happens:

We immediately move to "what's next?"

The achievement that just required enormous effort, discipline, and creativity becomes... normal. Invisible. Already in the past.

Sound familiar?

Why This Happens (And Why It Matters)

The Dopamine Chase: Our brains are constantly seeking the next hit of achievement dopamine. Celebrating feels like standing still when we could be moving toward the next goal.

Fear of Complacency: We worry that if we acknowledge success, we'll get lazy. Better to keep pushing than risk losing momentum.

External Validation Dependency: We've learned to wait for others to notice our achievements rather than recognising them ourselves. But even that doesn’t bring any real sense of joy or fulfilment.

The "Normal" Trap: Once we prove we can do something, it stops feeling special. What was extraordinary yesterday becomes "just what I do" today.

But here's the problem: Without celebration, achievements lose their power to fuel future achievements.

The Cost of Skipping Celebration

When we don't acknowledge our wins:

• Motivation gradually decreases (why work hard if nothing feels significant?)

• Identity doesn't update (we still see ourselves as "someone who struggles" instead of "someone who succeeds")

• Evidence gets lost (we can't remember what we've actually accomplished)

• Others can't be inspired by our example

I realised I've been doing this my entire life. Sixty-three days of unbroken commitment to eliminating sugar, losing weight, mastering fasting, and proving what's possible at 72 - and I almost let it pass without acknowledgement.

A Better Way: The ADHD Celebration Protocol

After this revelation, I've designed a celebration system that works WITH our ADHD brains instead of against them:

Micro-Celebrations (Daily)

Data Acknowledgement: "Today I dropped 0.4kg - that's measurable progress!" Identity Reinforcement: "I'm someone who keeps challenging promises to myself" Evidence Collection: Progress photos, measurements, journal entries

Milestone Celebrations (Weekly)

Share Victories: Text someone who cares, post progress, document the win. Experience Rewards: New book, workout gear, something that supports your goals Story Creation: Write down what you overcame and how it felt

Legacy Celebrations (Major Achievements)

Before/After Documentation: Visual proof of transformation

Impact Assessment: How this achievement helps others

Future Self Connection: What this makes possible next

The Meta-Celebration

Here's what's beautiful: This newsletter IS a celebration. By sharing this insight with you, I'm:

• Acknowledging the pattern recognition breakthrough

• Sharing the victory of 63 days of transformation

• Creating content that helps others while processing my own growth

• Turning a personal limitation into collective wisdom

Your Turn

Think about your recent achievements - the ones you accomplished and immediately moved past. What would happen if you actually acknowledged them?

Try this experiment:

1. List three things you've accomplished in the past month that you didn't properly celebrate

2. For each one, write down what it took to achieve it

3. Ask yourself: "What does this achievement say about who I'm becoming?"

4. Share one of them with someone who would understand its significance

The Deeper Truth

Celebration isn't about ego or complacency. It's about identity reinforcement. When we acknowledge what we've achieved, we strengthen the neural pathways that made it possible.

Every celebration is evidence. Every acknowledgement is fuel. Every moment we spend recognising our progress is an investment in our future capacity.

At 72, I'm learning that transformation isn't just about changing your body or habits - it's about changing how you see yourself. And you can't see yourself clearly if you never pause to look at what you've accomplished.

So here's my celebration: 63 days of proving that age is just data, that commitment is a choice, and that ADHD brains can achieve anything when we stop sabotaging our own victories.

What's yours?

If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear about an achievement you haven't properly celebrated. Reply and share - let's practice acknowledging our wins together.

P.S. I'm documenting this entire journey of trying to achieve visible abs at 73 as proof that it's never too late to transform anything about your life. If a 72-year-old can do it, what's your excuse?

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