Your NO to-do List - Jim Livingstone - ADHD Optimist

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YOUR ‘NO’–to-do LIST

Tasks you're doing out of guilt, not necessity

This is about recognising obligations that exist only in your head. Your ADHD brain might be telling you that you "should" volunteer for every school event, respond to every message immediately, or attend every social gathering. But guilt-driven tasks drain your limited energy reserves without actually serving you or others in meaningful ways.

Ask yourself: "If no one would know I didn't do this, would I still choose to do it?" If the answer is no, it might belong on your NO list. Examples: attending meetings where you're not needed, maintaining friendships that feel one-sided, saying yes to favours when you're already overwhelmed.

"Someday" projects clog your mental space

ADHD brains collect ideas like magnets attract metal shavings. That language you want to learn, the side business you'll start, the craft supplies you bought three years ago—they all take up precious mental real estate.

Each unfinished project is an open loop in your brain, quietly demanding attention. It's time to grieve the gap between "aspiration you" and "actual you." Give yourself permission to close these loops by officially declaring them a NO (for now, or forever).

You can keep a "someday/maybe" list for ideas you genuinely care about but get them OUT of your active mental workspace. Marie Kondo your aspirations: thank them for the excitement they once sparked, then let them go.

Old ingrained habits that no longer serve you

These are the sneaky ones—tasks you do automatically because you've always done them, not because they're still useful. Maybe you still balance your chequebook manually even though your banking app does it for you. Or you're maintaining an elaborate meal-planning system from when you had young kids at home, but now you're cooking for one.

Perhaps you're still checking three different email inboxes from old jobs or projects that are long dead. ADHD brains love routine once we finally establish one, but we're often so relieved to have any working system that we forget to check whether it still fits our life.

These zombie habits shuffle along on autopilot, consuming time and energy without delivering value. Ask yourself: "Is this habit serving my current life, or am I just doing it because Past Me set it up?" Give yourself permission to evolve. The you from five years ago made the best choices they could with the life they had. But you're different now, and your systems should reflect that.

Perfectionist traps disguised as productivity

These are the tasks where "good enough" would absolutely work, but your brain insists on excellence. Color-coded filing systems when a single folder would do. Rewriting emails five times. Researching every detail before making a simple decision.

Deep-cleaning before guests arrive when a quick tidy would suffice. For people with ADHD, perfectionism often masquerades as productivity, but it's actually procrastination's sophisticated cousin. The truth? Most tasks don't deserve your A-game. Save your hyperfocus superpowers for things that truly matter. Everything else gets a "C+ and done" approach.

Other people's priorities you've absorbed

Your ADHD brain is probably more permeable than you realise—you absorb other people's urgency, anxiety, and priorities like a sponge. A colleague's panic becomes your panic. A friend's drama becomes your project. Your family's expectations become your to-do list. But here's the thing: just because someone else thinks something is urgent doesn't make it YOUR priority.

Practice distinguishing between "this matters to them" and "this matters to me." Learn the phrase: "That sounds important to you, but it's not something I can take on right now." You're not being selfish; you're setting boundaries. And boundaries are what keep ADHD brains from scattering in a thousand directions.

Systems/apps/tools you're not actually using

Ah, the graveyard of productivity apps. How many notification badges are sitting on your phone right now for apps you downloaded with the best intentions? Habit trackers you haven't opened in months. Meal planning apps with zero meals planned. Budget spreadsheets from 2023.

Each unused system is a subtle reminder of a small failure, a tiny voice saying, "You should be using this." Delete them. All of them. If you haven't touched it in a month, it's not serving you—it's judging you. The best system is the one you'll actually use, which is usually simpler than you think. Your NO list includes all the productivity hacks that make you feel productive without actually helping you function.

Closing thought for this week: "Next week, we'll talk about working smarter on what remains—but for now, just practice the art of subtraction. Your ADHD brain has been carrying too much for too long. It's time to put some of it down."

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